Leprechaun: Origins (2014)
Director: Zach Lipovsky
Writer: Harris Wilkinson
Cast: Dylan “Hornswoggle” Postl, Brendan Fletcher, Stephanie Bennett, Andrew Dunbar, Melissa Roxburgh, Garry Chalk
In 1993, writer/director Mark Jones gifted the world Leprechaun, a fun little gem that imagined the beloved Irish folklore character as a malevolent monster. The movie starred a then-unknown Jennifer Aniston (with her original nose) and Return of the Jedi and Willow star Warwick Davis as the titular foe. More comedy than straight horror, it was a modest hit, spawning five sequels (most of which were direct-to-video), each one more absurd and ridiculous than the one before it. As the series continued, the Leprechaun found himself traveling to Las Vegas, outer space, and in the last two films, the “hood.” By 2013, the brain trust behind the franchise decided a reboot was in order and handed the reigns to the WWE (naturally), who quickly cast their little person wrestler Hornswoggle in the lead.
After a quick opening in which a couple are killed by something unseen in a field of tall grass (Isla Sorna?), we are introduced to Sophie, her boyfriend Ben, David and his girlfriend Jeni. Sophie has wanted to be a history teacher since she was a little girl and has dragged her friends to Ireland so she can look at old monuments and similar boring junk. One of these statues rests in the field of tall grass from the opening scene, which causes the old man who’s driving the truck they are riding in to stop in his tracks and refuse to go any further. Shrugging their silly tourist shoulders, the group beats their feet to an olde Irish pub to enjoy some olde Irish libations. While being loud about their plans, they attract the attention of Hamish (Garry Chalk, A Christmas Story 2), who lives in the village. He tells the group about the “Stones of the Gods” that are located in a nearby cave and, of course, aren’t found in any tourist literature. This gets Sophie hot and bothered and they agree to spend the night in Hamish’s guest cabin in order to get up bright and early to see the stones.
On the ride to the cabin, David makes a big to-do about Hamish having a gold Rolex watch. The humble Irishman brushes it off, but his orange son Sean acts very nervous and foreshadowy. Once at the cabin, Hamish sees something lurking in the weeds and shoots at it with a shotgun, claiming it was a wild boar. Thinking that sounds plausible enough, the gang settles in for the night. Hamish and Sean split, but not before the suspender-loving drunk leaves his gold watch hanging from a peg on the porch.
The cabin has no power (what?), but that’s no bother because Sophie and Jeni are both looking to get laid. Unfortunately, David is too drunk and Ben would rather read his book on being a limp-dick than engage in any of that messy business. There’s also some dialogue alluding to Sophie wanting to follow Ben to Harvard and him not being into it.
Meanwhile, something is watching the cabin from outside. Director Zach Lipovsky treats us to his rip-off of Predator-vision, just in case we haven’t figured out that its a monster and not any fuckin’ wild boar. No sooner do our leads settle in for a long Irish nap does the monster grab the watch from the peg and start banging on windows and what not, waking everyone up. Unnerved, the group tries to leave but find out THEY’VE BEEN LOCKED IN BY HAMISH!!!! Jeni, terrified, takes a seat by the fireplace, which is convenient as the creature is now hiding in it. An enterprising beast, it seizes the moment and tears out Jeni’s golden earring (lobe and all.) David runs to check out the sitch and is also attacked by the creature, who chases the friends into a bedroom.
The gang eventually sneaks out of the house via some backdoor built into the fireplace(!), but in the process David’s leg is torn to shit which makes him a hobblin’ crybabyin’ pain in the ass for the rest of the flick (whoops, spoiler!)
Luckily, there’s a house down the road about 30 feet for them to break into. They do, and having never seen Night of the Living Dead (goddamn Millenials), seek safety in the basement. This turns out to be fortuitous as there just happens to be a book laying open to a chapter about evil Leprechauns and blah blah blah they figure out the whole lame plot…Hamish stole gold from a cave…unleashed a Leprechaun…and now must sacrifice strangers to it so it wont eat the villagers as revenge. They also learn that the Leprechaun can’t go past the tall grass statue, so if they can make it past that, they out this bitch.
Meanwhile Hamish, Sean and some random new guy named Ian discover their offerings to the Leprechaun have escaped, and through some Sherlock Holmes level deduction, figure out they’re probably hiding in the house next to the cabin. Sean decides he’s really not hip to this whole scenario and argues with Hamish while Ian goes outside and gets killed by the Lep. This awkward family feud gives our fearsome foursome time to escape and hitch a ride with a kindly old woman they stop on the road. Leaving no terrible cliche undone, the old broad is in on the plot and drives the group right back to Hamish, who knocks Sophie out and ties them all to a tree.
As if scripted, the Leprechaun shows up, rips the gold stud out of Jeni’s tongue and eviscerates David. Sophie, Ben, and a now-mute Jeni get free and decide to run…right back to the goddamn cabin! They hatch a plan to kill the green bastard by hanging a gold necklace by the fireplace, the idea being when the Leprechaun comes through the outside crawlspace to retrieve it, Jeni will lock the door and Sophie will kill it, while Ben just watches. This well-conceived plan goes hilariously awry and Jeni ends up with an axe to the face.
Ben and Sophie leave the cabin for the second time and decide to run…right back to the goddamn house! Thankfully, Ben gets his spine ripped out, which is satisfying to see. Sophie hides until Sean and Hamish show up, still arguing the moral implications of what they are doing. This time, Sean knocks Hamish down the stairs, where he’s killed by the Leprechaun. Sean weeps at all they have wrought.
Sophie, alone and filthy, hops in dead Ian’s truck (that explains his inclusion in the script) and heads towards the field of tall grass to get past the statue to safety. The Leprechaun apparently sprouts fuckin’ wings and lands on the windshield, smashing it and causing Sophie to crash. She gets out and sprints until she trips over a knapsack full of doubloons or some such bullshit. She grabs a handful, causing the Leprechaun to pause for a moment, which is enough time for Sophie to use the machete she found in the truck to decapitate our grunting villain. Exhausted and traumatized (how do you like history now!), she reaches the statue only to discover there’s a lot more Leprechauns chilling in the grass, who presumably eat her to death.
The Good: Oh, boy. This is is a tough one. The best thing I can say about the movie is the acting isn’t bad. For as paper thin as these characters are, all of the leads are at least believable in whatever emotion they are tasked to show in a given scene.
The Not-So-Good: Everything else. This movie is a colossal failure on nearly every level. Its hard to even know where to start in detailing all the ways it shits the bed.
First, the title – Leprechaun: Origins. We are led to believe, this being a reboot and all, that its an origin story of the Leprechaun character from the previous six movies. But its not. It has absolutely nothing to do with that franchise. Aside from that, its not even an origin story of its own character! When the movie begins, the Leprechaun has already been eating interlopers for a long time. Sophie and co. are just dropped into this ongoing situation. If it were an origin story, it would have been about Hamish finding the gold and letting loose the Leprechaun. A huge crock of shit and the most misleading title since the 1995 Vietnam drama The Walking Dead.
Dylan Postl as the Leprechaun. Now I admit I haven’t watched the WWE since I was a teen. I wouldn’t know goddamn Hornswoggle if he kicked me in the ankles. But I assume, since pro wrestling is really just theatre, that Postl is a talented and charismatic performer which is why the WWE would choose to cast him. So why the hell didn’t Lipovsky and Wilkinson give him any lines or anything to do?! Literally anyone of a small stature could have played this “character.” All he did was growl and attack. Postl was under heavy make-up and unrecognizable, so whatever his character does in the ring is nowhere to be found in the flick. Complete waste.
Then there’s the character itself. Aside from the script telling us he was after stolen gold, this could have been any generic monster in any horror movie of the last thirty years. What was fun about the original franchise was not only Warwick Davis and his performance but how each movie used some aspect of the Irish/leprechaun/Lucky Charms iconography to horrific and hilarious ends. Twisted wishes, shamrocks, magical flutes – things that made a Leprechaun movie different from a Child’s Play or A Nightmare On Elm Street. The leprechaun of Origins might as well be one of the things from The Descent. Perhaps it doesn’t matter anyway as we barely see it. Lipovsky and his DP made sure the scenes involving ‘swoggle are out of focus and poorly lit. Maybe they knew their creature design sucked and this was a way around it.
Once the group arrives at the cabin, the film falls into the same pattern: the Lep attacks, they run to a house, Hamish shows up and threatens them, lep attacks, they run to a house, Hamish shows up and threatens them, lep attacks, they run etc. That’s it. Basically one series of events repeated three times until only Sophie is left.
Finally, the run time. The movie clocks in at 90 minutes…technically. It actually ends around the 77 minute mark followed by 13 minutes of end credits!! And its not because it takes 13 minutes to list all of the people who worked on the film – this isn’t Titanic. The powers-that-be obviously wanted a 90 minute movie so they padded the fuck out of the end titles to get there. If that isn’t some laughable shake-your-head kinda horseshit…
Final Thoughts: Leprechaun: Origins is a cliched, sloppy cash grab that isn’t even so-bad-its-good. It fails as a horror film, as a reboot, and as mindless entertainment. Embarrassing.
Droppin’ Knowledge: Zach Lipovsky was a featured contestant on the 2007 filmmaking reality show On The Lot, where his shorts were praised by both Carrie Fisher and Garry Marshall.
Trailer:
nine18pictures 